I've been thinking so much about the role of creativity in my life lately.  I've been having a hard time sleeping, waking up in the middle of the night, mind spinning, questioning my life choices to date, and wondering where I'm headed next.  You know, the little things.  Instead of getting frustrated trying to fall back asleep, I've been getting up and paper crafting.  It doesn't mean I'm any less exhausted, but I'm more productive and it puts my mind at ease.  Creativity is more than a hobby these days, it's my self care, my passion, my joy, my healer.  This page was started in yesterday's early morning hours and finished this morning.  This is one of my favorite memories from our trips to Kaua'i, renting bikes and riding along the Ke Ala Hele Makalee, the path along the ocean heading to one of the best beaches for boogie boarding.  

This page was inspired by Jot Magazine's October/November mood board.  I love it - the colors, the wood grains, the fibers, and the doily.  It's a departure from my normal style, but I really enjoyed how it came together.  I pieced it like a collage, antiquing the edges of it all, overlapping journaling cards, adding a doily, chipboard, wood veneers, thread, and various embellishments.  The background paper is Heidi Swapp and the chipboard pieces are a mix of BasicGrey collections.  

I added this to two more challenges.  First, the Anything Goes Challenge #66 from Paper Girls Challenge Blog.  Second, I joined Paper Issues' new linky party, as it most certainly documents a time in my life when I was happy.  I have started following their blog regularly and joined their Facebook friends and fans page.  I have been enjoying the inspiration and the community.  

Closeups and details shot below: 

I excited to share that one of my scrapbook layouts has been published in the book, Creating With Sketches V3, by Kristine Davidson!  Published, folks!  As a newbie in the scrapbooking world, I'm happy to be checking off paper crafting goals left and right.  

It's funny to me that my last two layouts have featured concerts with big pop icons, as these were bit of a departure for me.  I usually attend more indie, folky, singer songwriter shows.  Truth be told, I'm not a huge Katy Perry fan, but I think she has some catchy tunes and I appreciated her more after watching her documentary.  On the other hand, Jayden loves her so I surprised him with tickets for our ten year (dating) anniversary.  Yep, we celebrate both the anniversary of our first date ten years ago and our wedding anniversary five years ago.  I think these were two of the best days of my life and I enjoy any excuse for a celebration.  The show was ridiculous, but in the best way.  There were lots of wild costumes (both in the audience and on stage), background videos, and themes.  I danced and sang non-stop right along with the plethora of adolescent girls in the crowd!

If you're interested in purchasing the Creating with Sketches V3 ebook, use the code V3Becky for a 10% discount.  You'll find me on page 29!  The offer expires on November 1st.  The sketch book is gorgeous, with so many creative sketched and layouts.  I'm very impressed with my fellow designers and can't wait to use this for further inspiration.   

Of course, there's close-ups to share.  I used a Heidi Swapp stencil with modeling paste and other Heidi Swapp goodies, like color shine and clear die cut embellishments.  Most of the papers are from Amy Tangerine, along with her thickers and a stamp that I embossed and fussy cut.  I added the Prism Vision glasses given away at the concert, as I like incorporating memorabilia from the event itself.  I colored in the hearts behind the glass lenses with color shine and a glitter pen to model their effects.  I think it's a fun, colorful layout and it came together quickly.  

Here's a layout I created awhile ago, but never shared.  This photo was taken while in Puerta Vallarta with my sweetheart and friends back in July.  We spent a year planning the trip, the excitement building for months and I can hardly believe it's over. Good thing I revel in both the after-travel reflection and the pre-travel anticipation almost as much as the trip itself.  After a day of swimming and relaxing, we'd meet every night in the lobby of the resort to take in the breathtaking sunsets and sip on pre-dinner cocktails.  What a hard life we had in Mexico.    

Now for the detail photos.  While I still have a lot to learn in terms of photographing layouts, I can see how far I've come in the last couple months since this was photographed.  I used modeling paste, gelatos, spray ink, stamps, layers of paper, a mix of alphas, wood veneers, and added chipboard embellishments.  I also like taking memorabilia from the experience and incorporating it into the layout.  Each night the resort would do turn-down service, leaving us chocolates and slip of paper letting us know the next day's forecast.  I included the slip of paper from one of the nights.    

I was on a scrapbooking roll and then another school year started.  I miss summer already.  I'm still adjusting to the longer and busier days at work, which leave me feeling exhausted and less inspired to craft at night.  I'm getting up earlier in the morning (usually 5am) and crafting a bit before I leave for work.  I'm a morning person and that's my most creative time of the day anyway.  

That said, this page took a long time.  I wasn't feeling.  At all.  It happens.  Then, it all came together today and it's really grown on me.  Almost everything here is Dear Lizzy.  I've had the collection for months, using bits of it here and there, but knew I wanted to use it heavily for this page.  For the background, I started by ripping paper, painting some gesso and mists onto the page, and adding drops of navy color shine.  I did a lot of fussy cutting (jar, flowers and arrows), which I don't do often.   

Hawai'i, especially Kaua'i, really is our happy place.  I didn't have high expectations this first trip, wondering if it was overrated and thinking I'd probably like somewhere more remote with less hype.  It deserves the hype.  We've since been back two more times and I'm hoping we'll be taking another trip soon.  Here's some closeups.  

I was inspired by two challenges this time around.  The first was Scrap Our Stash September Sketch Challenge.  For A, B & C: arrows, buttons, and cork alphas.  For 1, 2 & 3: 1 journal card (behind the top photo), 2 photos, and (more than) 3 patterned papers.  

The second challenge inspiration came from the gorgeous Jot Magazine and their September Challenge Board.  I have several floral elements on the page, I got a new Heidi Swapp Color Shine in navy, my background has chevrons and there's multiple shade of blue all over the layout.   

First, I want to share my big announcement - I'm on the Creative Scrapper's Design Team!  It's my first time on a team and pretty fantastic to be designing alongside so many talents scrappers that I respect.  I'm already hard at work designing layouts for the upcoming sketch challenges, which I'm excited to reveal in the coming months.  I love how I manifested this goal just a few short months ago and it's come to fruition.  It all began with a Brene Brown art journaling class that renewed my excitement for paper crafting, helped me find mixed media, and inspired me to create this blog.  I can't wait to see what's next on this creative journey.  

Here's my next layout, Unicorns, which I've created as a guest designer for Paper Secrets.  This photo was taken during this year's pride on the Big Gay Boat Ride where we went to watch drag queen Bianca Del Rio perform.  We also threw a rainbows and unicorn party, which was pretty much my childhood dream come true.  I had so much fun party prepping for weeks in advance.  It was a great excuse to dress up, complete with a homemade rainbow tutu for me and unicorn horn headbands for everyone. 

I started this rainbow background by adding clear gesso to white paper.  After it dried, I added drops from a big array of spray inks (mostly Dylusions and Color Shine), mixed the colors with watercolor pen, and dabbed some away with a paper towel.       

Next I dug out all my paper scraps and started rolling them, and rolling, and rolling some more.  This is the longest it's ever taken me to complete a page and I'm a pretty slow scrapper to start with.   Excuse the poor lighting on these background photos.  I snapped these shots quickly in my craft room, which has poor lighting.  Also, I'm taking a photography class in a couple weeks and I'm looking forward to learning more to improve my scrapbook photography skills.  I need the help, especially with the rainy sunless days quickly approaching.  

Here's some closeups of the finished page with journaling, thickers, some buttons from my crafting stash, stitching on the top and bottom, a few BasicGrey chipboard pieces, and some Heidi Swapp embellishments. 

Here's the sketch from Paper Secrets, which inspired my layout.  Play along to win a $20 coupon off your next purchase of $20 or more in their store.  

I wanted to challenge myself to scrap with a large photo and this one of Bruno and Lulu was perfect.  They snuggle up to each other more now than they ever have, but it's still pretty rare to get a photo of these two together and both looking at the camera.  Jayden took this one a couple years ago and sent it to me for Valentine's Day.  Gah, I love these faces so much.  I'm totally biased, but they are the cutest.  

For this background, I started by adding gesso to tone down the brown and create a more weathered look.  Then, I added some stencils and light modeling paste, which I colored lightly with gelatos and watercolors.  Lastly, I used a palette knife to add random splotches of acrylic paint.   

Here's some closeups.  As always, there's lots of paper layers.  I inked just about everything in this layout with vintage photo Distress Ink.  I added several chipboard pieces from the BasicGrey Hey Girl/Boy collection.  I can't believe I debated on buying them when I found them on super clearance, because now I'll be bummed when I've used it all.  I also added a journaling card, some eyelets, and some stitching.  Overall, I used less embellishments than normal, because the background is really busy and the large photo encompasses so much of the page.  I wanted to keep the focus on the photo.    

Of course, this is inspired by some challenges.  This time it's two Scrappy Friend's challenges.  The first being the Color Challenge featured below.  The other being the Tic Tac Toe Challenge where I used the top line: stencils, stitching and eyelets.  

I've had a few days off of work, which has meant lots of time in my craft room.  This is the second layout I've created and I have another in the works.  I've wanted to scrap this photo for awhile, as it's my favorite shot from my trip to Boston this summer.  How fitting that today, as I was working on this page, I learned this very friend was booking tickets to come visit.  I can't wait!  I knew right after I took this photo that I wanted to use the paper from Heidi Swapp's Favorite things, especially the one with the circles.  

I started my background by creating a watercolor effect with Heidi Swapp Color Magic on this map design from crate paper.  I sprayed the ink spritz on a craft sheet and then dabbed in on with a water brush.  I wish you could see in the photos how iridescent and shimmery this stuff turns out.  Then, I added brads and twine to highlight my journey from Portland to Boston.  

Here's a couple closeups of the details and layers.  There's always lots of paper layers.  I included a trolley ticket and a movie ticket I'd been saving from the trip.  I added a couple of stamps, but wanted this page to be more subtle than my last.  I used a chipboard film strip, stickers, and a mix of alphas that I outlined in black pen.  

This layout was inspired by two challenges.  The first is Paper Wings Production's challenge, which encouraged the incorporation of ribbon or twine.  The second is Creative Scrappers' sketch 277 challenge.  This provided great inspiration for the direction of the layout, including the long strips of paper and washi tape, title location, the circle stickers, and the layered triangles.  I love creating with a sketch, because it gives direction, but still inspires me to think outside of the box.  

I spent my Labor Day weekend at the Gorge in Washington watching the Dave Matthews band.  The opener was one of my all-time favorites, Brandi Carilile, and there was also a host of other bands at an afternoon music caravan, with my favorite being Blind Pilot.  Three nights and four days of camping with great friends and fantastic live music at the most gorgeous music venue.  What's not to love?  The folks I went with have been upwards of sixteen times.  This was my second and I'm already looking forward to the next one. 

With this layout I left less white space than normal.  I challenged myself to be less retrained, get extra messy, and add even more layers.  I like adding items from the photo's experience like the campground bracelet and the ticket stub.  

Closeups.  Look at that dimension and shadows.  I added lots of little details - washi tape, a doily, modeling paste dried and outlined in black pen, a couple Tim Holtz rub ons, stitching, a Heidi Swapp arrow sticker and some color magic ephemera, and border/heart/arrow stamping.   

I've travelled a lot this summer and kept wishing I'd packed scrap or art journal materials.  This was the first time I actually did it and I found time to get creative two days during camp.  Of course, I over packed, but now I have a better idea of what's most useful to bring next time.  I started two backgrounds with spray ink/stamps/stencils (including this one!) and art journaled the DMB experience.   

This layout was inspired by two challenges.  The first being Scrap It Girl's September challenge to use stencils or masks.  I used three stencils in this layout, two were used with inking for the background, and the other for the modeling paste dots.  

The second is Scrap & Play's school supplies challenge.  I cut a lined journal card, added three different washi tapes, and wrote in the righthand corner.  There's blue in the photo, the misting and watercolor background, and one of the paper layers.  I'd actually originally planned to use more blue, but the green got the best of me.  

I sat down this morning looking for inspiration and this layout came together faster than any one I've done before.  I applied clear gesso before adding water and drops of mist to create a watercolor background.  Next I applied stenciling and stamps before adding layers of paper and embellishments.  

I used three website challenges for inspiration.  The first was Rochelle Spears' Tic Tac Toe August Challenge.  I used the dry embossing, circle, and chevron patterned paper.  

For the colors, I used The Scrappy Friends Color Challenge.  This isn't a color combo I'd normally gravitate towards and I wasn't sure I'd participate in this one, but I enjoyed the challenge.  Actually, I think that's what helped it come together so quickly.  

For sketch inspiration, I used The Scrappy Friends August Sketch Challenge.  

I've been thinking a lot lately about what brought me to this place of creativity, quilting, embroidery, starting an art journal, discovering mixed media, the creation of this blog, and my renewed appreciation of papercrafting.  In light of the sad death of Robin Williams, I've been thinking about mental illness, inner struggles, social media and scrapbooking, and what I choose to share with the world.  I realize my scrap pages and my online life often look all sunshine and roses.  Many times, this is true and there's much joy to document.  I value instagram/facebook/scrapbooking, because in looking at photos I'm reminded of how fortunate I am to live this life.  I can archive and remember the beautiful moments, the people I adore, and the places I've been.

However, truth be told, there have been some tough spots, but those ones are rarely shared.  The last few years have been filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows.  I'm always debating on how much of the rough stuff to share, especially on the interwebs.  I've had times of incredible disappointment, anger, stress, sadness, and anxiety.  There have been dark places where it was hard to see a way through the pain.  It's brought me to my knees.  I've pushed people away and contemplated running away from this life.  It's in those moments where I've learned the most about myself, my resiliency, my ability to heal, and my community of support.  I think creativity has become a healing practice, a form of meditation, and a gift to myself.  The creativity has allowed me to focus on my gratitude, to feel more confident in sharing my expression of self, to be messy and make mistakes, to feel the good stuff and the painful emotions, and try to have a more optimistic outlook.  With an intention to live a more wholehearted life and to be brave, my perspective has changed greatly.  I'm trying to unlearn years of socialization, with a leaning towards criticism, rigidity, and doubt.  It's a big shift and I'm a work in progress.  I'll add that going to therapy has been one of the best decisions I've made in recently years.  Seriously, it's saved me again and again.  I was once embarrassed to admit that I was talking to someone, but now I share it openly and find myself continually encouraging others to do the same.  As a friend said recently, self care is sexy. 

With that said, there's some hard shit right now.  I feel myself slipping into grief and old coping habits and I need a reminder.  I'm recalling the last intention from the Brene Brown e-course: My story matters because I matter.  I'm looking back at old art journal entries and I'm reminding myself to continue the heart work.  That it's important to live an authentic life.  To give myself permission.  To be brave.  To create clearing and remember my calm map.  To set intentions.  To forgive, namely myself.  To stop letting fear and shame hold me back. 

I'm worthy.
I matter.